Today while scrolling through the news on my USA Today app I came across a story about Kate Moss. What I thought was going to be boring and simply a time killer turned out to be a very revealing look into a world that many people want to be in but few know the cost of.
In the article Kate gives glimpses of what it was like in the early days of her modeling career. However these stories are anything but amazing stories that every girl would want to live. In fact it gives a good picture of the human condition and what a toll that certain activities do to a person.
At one point in the article Kate speaks of the Calvin Klein photo shoot that made her famous saying:
“I had a nervous breakdown when I was 17 or 18, when I had to go and work with Marky Mark and Herb Ritts,” she says. “It didn’t feel like me at all. I felt really bad about straddling this buff guy. I didn’t like it. I couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks. I thought I was going to die.”
Now this of course wouldn’t happen to everyone that goes into modeling or is put into the public spotlight. There are some people that will stop at nothing to get famous. However what we see here is that Kate regrets doing the one thing that launched her career. What is most notable is the phrase she uses, “It didn’t feel like me at all.”
During my years of ministry I have heard this phrase a lot. Time and time again when I have spoken to students and adults alike this phrase always comes up when talking about sin.
When we allow ourselves to be put into situations that compromise our beliefs and ideals we will always come away with this same feeling that Kate recalls. This feeling that we knew that wasn’t us but we did it anyway.
The best part of this interview is the honesty and the reality that we see in it. The world around is is always telling us to go after what makes us happy and will make us known. However we see here that Kate, with all her fame, has looked back and wondered what it would have been like if she wouldn’t have done the things shes done. She seems to be struggling for identity and worth.
If I could speak with Kate I would tell her, and all women, one thing. Your worth is found in Christ. He loves you and is pursuing you. All that guilt and feeling of shame that you have when you “didn’t feel like yourself” is Him letting you know you were made for so much more than what you think. Don’t bank of the love of people because people are fickle and passing. Bank of the love of a Savior that is always there for you. Find your identity in Him.